When love hurts... humour saves the day

Although actress, screenwriter and playwright María Gómez de Castro has been performing in comedy shows for over fifteen years and has written several plays, she is now making her literary debut with the novel ‘Si el amor no duele, ¿esto qué coño es?’ (If love doesn't hurt, what the hell is this?) (Harper Collins, 252 pages). 

It is not too risky to predict that this novel, with more than a touch of humour, will be one of the stories, especially for female readers, that will mark 2026. A story that, through the eyes of a roguish and groundbreaking actress, takes a humorous look at life.

With a high dose of autobiography, as she herself acknowledges, the central character of the book, Marina, is a girl who arrives in Madrid looking for her place in the world, but unexpectedly finds herself trapped in a maze of toxic relationships, the pressure of a big city and a heart that never stops breaking. Tired of playing the role of the “good girl” and loving men who leave her feeling empty, she dares to embark on a radical journey into her inner self, which will lead her to explore new boundaries and make decisions that will turn her life upside down. Common to countless human beings, this is a story where madness, love and disappointment, but also humour and sincerity, are the companions on a journey towards emotional freedom.

María Gómez de Castro herself talks about her book, defining it as "a story of heartbreak with which many people will identify, because it shows the process of losing yourself and reaching emotional extremes, clinging to a sugar-coated idea of romantic love that bears no resemblance to reality. It talks about that moment, as comical as it is painful, when your dignity slowly evaporates as you insist on not seeing what is right in front of you." 

And, indeed, the book is a journey through the different forms of toxic relationships - friendly, family or romantic - told from a close perspective and full of humour and irony. So much so that, at times, it is inevitable to evoke the Comedy Club, when Marina explains in first person her tireless search for ‘real love’, with all its difficulties; especially when obsession clouds judgement and the fear of loneliness robs you of the ability to decide clearly.

All this is narrated by linking amusing anecdotes with more difficult stories, but always with the lightness that comes from distance and the willingness to look squarely, without drama, at ‘what leads us to repeat the same patterns over and over again’.

This writer, who already has several short films to her credit: ‘Mi hermano es lesbiana’ (My brother is a lesbian), ‘A veces fumo’ (Sometimes I smoke), “Llámame” (Call me) and ‘No era el fin del mundo’ (It wasn't the end of the world), recognised at various European festivals, also answers the inevitable question of why she chose such a striking title for her first novel: "The truth is that when I started writing, it just came out. It was the provisional name of the document I sent to the publisher, almost without thinking, and there was never any discussion about it. I wrote If love doesn't hurt... then what is this, and I think we all knew that there was a swear word behind it, and not exactly a mild one. Some things are born with their name already attached to them."

The author believes that we are at a time when there is a lot of talk about the supposed “evolution” of relationships towards new and more advanced models, but she also believes that, whereas in the past many relationships were maintained for convenience, today there is no longer any need for this. However, we run the risk of forgetting something essential: that relationships require effort, care and consistency to maintain.

‘Life, with its sense of humour, seems to say to you: “You wanted to learn about love? Well, here are two cups”.’ In it, it is important to know as soon as possible that ‘if you don't know how to be alone, you don't know how to be with anyone.’ She concludes: "Society constantly tells us that loneliness is a scourge, that if you don't have friends around you or a partner, there is something wrong with you. That's why the first lesson we should learn in school is to be alone, still, silent, connecting with yourself and without distractions. If you don't know who you are, it's hard to know what you want or who you can give your time and patience to, without judging yourself for making mistakes."