22 June: a new Day of Infamy

Honour and glory to the most generous, the most courageous and the most handsome of the leaders of the Solar System. Do not let your immense sacrifices be called into question by having as your banner the slogan of all for power!

Turn a deaf ear to the immense bluster that the fanatical Catalan independence fanatics are carrying on at the expense of the Government over which you preside. Deep in their hearts they have immense respect for you and revere your wise decision to put their adored men and women on the streets who, with a vision of the future, aspire to make Catalonia a world power on a par with the United States.

As the great universal leader that you are, the Council of Ministers over which you preside has authorised the pardon of the condemned Catalan independence supporters on a date as significant in universal history as 22 June. What a great man! You have chosen for such a great measure of grace the 80th anniversary of the invasion of the Soviet Union by the German Armed Forces under Hitler's command!

On this day, 22 June 1941, Operation Barbarossa began, the date on which 250 divisions of Hitler's Germany began the invasion of the now defunct Soviet Union, then commanded by Stalin, another enlightened man. But I have to give you some bad news which, it seems, has gone unnoticed by your valid Iván Redondo.

Operation Barbarossa ended in a thunderous defeat, with the death of millions of people and with the absolute collapse and disappearance of the Reich advocated by that fellow with the moustache of sad memory. It is suspected that your invasion of the Spanish Constitution and your direct affront to the dignity of the Spanish people is on the way to your political downfall. Some are confident that your downfall will drag down the party of which you are secretary general, which has known no better than to applaud or remain silent in the face of the incendiary path you have embarked on.

But I have a confession to make. I feel a little disappointed that in the Royal Decrees of pardon that were urgently published yesterday in the Official State Gazette you have not included the delivery to each of those who have benefited from your benevolence of a spacious, elegant and well-located flat in Barcelona. I suggested this to you on 7 June. You have not listened to me. But it doesn't matter, your superior intelligence has surely decided what is best for them.

The important thing is to know that in the four corners of Spain, all our compatriots are by your side unconditionally. As one man. Close ranks. Every time you go out on the streets - which admittedly are very few, not the streets, your exits from Moncloa - you are met with signs of unwavering support for your policies, even for the brilliant social measure of raising the electricity bill. We know it is for our own good.

In practically every city in Spain, day in and day out, there are numerous peaceful demonstrations in your honour. Many of them proclaim your achievements and quote your slogans of harmony. Even in the towns and cities of Catalonia, thousands of people take to the streets to cheer your magnanimous pardon of their peaceful heroes of freedom. And those who have been pardoned reiterate to you again and again their gratitude. How pleased you must be by their words of affection.

I have received indications that all the men and women of the Civil Guard and the National Police are with you. You have boosted their morale to infinity. From the first to the last. From the most recent recruit to the most veteran.

In all the barracks and offices of both Corps there is rapturous applause for your measure of grace and I am assured that in the official office of the Director General of the Benemérita, María Gámez, they are receiving tens of thousands of emails, telexes and faxes of support for you.

As if that were not enough, your bravery and heroism has left the Spanish military community so astounded that, according to what I am told, the Ministry of Defence led by your minister Margarita Robles is tempted to start the process to award you the Laureate Cross of San Fernando, the highest military award to which only those who have carried out acts of heroism in combat in the face of the enemy are entitled.

You have not shown your courage in the face of the enemy, but your minister Margarita Robles will sort it out. You deserve the highest distinction for bravery that Spain awards! Because, let me tell you, your fierce defence of the men of peace and your yearning for harmony make you worthy of wearing the Laureate Cross of San Fernando on your chest. How handsome you will look with it!

Leave aside the recent words of the nine released prisoners and the president of the Autonomous Community of Catalonia, who have assured that "they leave with the strengthened will to build a Catalan republic". These are comments to make you rage. All of them and those who follow them will surrender to your successful policy of pardon and I am convinced that they will not ask you for more concrete signs of good deeds. They are more than satisfied with the pardon. It was not even necessary to add a floor to the Royal Decree of pardon for each of them.

The bravery with which the mayoress of Barcelona, Ada Colau, describes you is of such calibre that when you leave politics, God forbid, you should become a bullfighter. I imagine you doing the paseíllo, with the openwork montera hat, the suit of lights, those pink stockings... Well, well, well! What a delight of great bullfights for the fans!

Think about it. Can you imagine finishing the bullfight with a great lunge, seeing the bullring full of handkerchiefs, the public asking for two ears and the tail of the bull? Close your eyes and dream that you are in the middle of the bullring! The audience on their feet, cheering, carrying you out on their shoulders through the Puerta del Príncipe of the Real Maestranza of Seville. You deserve no less. It would be the apotheosic end to the career of a man of honour?

You, to yours. Savour and feast your privileged mind on your recent moments of glory with the President of the United States, Joe Biden. Remember the sparkling eyes of the most powerful man in the world as he listened to your wise counsel, as he listened to the sound of the suggestions you whispered in his ear, like the statesman that you are, respectful of the laws of the international order of the world.

Japan attacked the naval air base at Pearl Harbor on 7 December 1941 and the then President of the United States, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, called that day "The Day of Infamy". Now, on 22 June 2021, you have managed to live up to Roosevelt and have your "Day of Infamy". Quo vadis Pedro.