Morality and courtesy: The invisible architecture and the lost ritual

Although we tend to treat them as interchangeable concepts, it is vital to distinguish between them in order to understand the magnitude of our crisis. Morality is the foundation, the “invisible architecture” of a society; it is that internal compass that distinguishes right from wrong, duty from justice. Courtesy, on the other hand, is the form; it is the social ritual, the “lubrication” necessary to avoid friction in daily interactions. It is, in essence, the external manifestation of respect and superior human quality.

However, today we are experiencing a worrying rupture. Courtesy has begun to be seen as hypocrisy—form without substance—or, worse still, it has become irrelevant. This decline is not accidental; it arises because the lack of morality has stripped the “other” of importance.

We are facing an excessive inflation of egos: an unfounded belief in superiority, accompanied by arrogance and a constant search for recognition. In this ecosystem of the “I,” apologizing is perceived as weakness and empathy as a waste of time.

As José Ingenieros rightly pointed out in The Mediocre Man, when society rewards quick success and appearance over merit and dignity, morality becomes an obstacle to social advancement. We have reached a point where “cunning” is valued more than honesty. We live in an era that is hyper-conscious of individual rights but amnesiac about collective duties.

The impact of this change is felt in our public spaces. Streets, squares, schools, and cafes, which were once scenes of regulated coexistence, are now mere spaces of rapid transit. When we do not feel part of a community, the obligation to be courteous to strangers disappears.

And here lies the greatest danger: if there is no internal moral compass that demands respect for the dignity of others, and there are no social norms that enforce good treatment, the law of the strongest prevails.

Society becomes hostile, distrustful, and cynical. We enter what sociologists call “anomie,” an internal breakdown due to a lack of shared norms.

Given this scenario, perhaps the greatest challenge of our times is to demonstrate that courtesy is not a bourgeois adornment, but the first line of belonging to a community; and that morality is not a restriction on freedom, but the necessary condition for that freedom to be sustainable.

In a world dominated by noise and aggression, being kind, listening attentively, and acting with integrity have become true “acts of rebellion” that restore the social fabric. The reflective word—the one that inhabits poetry or essays—must once again invite us to pause and recognize the other, curbing the exaltation of the ego.

Let us not forget that, from an educational perspective, academic instruction without a solid moral foundation creates, at best, “competent barbarians.” Recovering substance and form is, today more than ever, a civilizational urgency.

Dr. Mounim Aoulad Abdelkrim. Hispanist