Opinion

The drunkard and the tyrant

Deportados de Estados Unidos descienden de un avión de la Fuerza Aérea Colombiana en un lugar no identificado - Gustavo Petro via X/REUTERS — Deportees from the united states get off a Colombian Air force plane in an unidentified location - Gustavo Petro via X/REUTERS

While the drunkard at three in the morning in the Casa de Nariño, believing himself to be Colonel Aureliano Buendía and with a messianic mixture between the reincarnation of the Liberator Simón Bolívar and the caudillos Jorge Eliécer Gaitán and Salvador Allende, came up with the ‘brilliant’ idea of preventing the landing of the planes that had taken off from the United States with the deportees and were about to land at Bogotá airport.

01/02/25

In the middle of the binge, he forgot that his government had agreed diplomatic protocols for the transfer of deportees with the same script that had been used with the previous Biden government, which was his ally. It is known that he had unreservedly accepted the deportation chains of the allied government.

It was in the early hours of that morning that Colonel Aureliano Buendía, in the middle of the pea, threw himself into the arena with the dream that he held in his hands the libertarian sword of Simón Bolívar and dreaming that he was riding the white horse of the Liberator, enraged by the courage of the divine revelation of the souls of the four heroes, he gave the order to prevent the planes from landing with his populist media strategy that was for the dignity of his fellow countrymen.

In the midst of the drunkenness, he calculated that this populist flag gave him good political returns among his followers and among a sector of the Latin American population. And so it was that Colonel Aureliano Buendía, in the libertarian dream of drunkenness, felt like a Latin American liberator floating on the clouds of a fandango and flying with Bolívar's sword in his hands over the head of the White House tenant.

In the midst of that hallucination of whisky shots and the effects of the whiteness of the powders of the angels of the heavenly choir, he thought that by unleashing a media scandal he would shake the government out of the scandal of the order to the peasants to grow coca, of the 100 deaths and the 50,000 displacements of the peasants from the conflictive region of Catatumbo due to the clashes between the dissident FARC guerrillas and the National Liberation Army guerrillas for control of the coca business.

However, Colonel Aureliano Buendía miscalculated, it was the speed and firmness of the response of the White House tyrant that won the day. Colonel Aureliano Buendía, in that trance of the effects of the whiteness of the tunics of the saving angels, believed that the souls of the slaves who built the White House with their cries of freedom would torment and bewilder the tyrant and, not knowing Spanish, he would not be able to read the insults quickly.

And that was when the joke backfired and the tyrant, without the weight of his wig on his head, reacted so quickly and with such a devastating response that, a few hours later, Colonel Aureliano Buendía woke up from the trance of smoke and the dreams of the reincarnations of Bolívar, Gaitán and Allende, in the middle of a fire that was consuming him so quickly that his inner circle had to ask for help from two of his most outspoken critics, former presidents Juan Manuel Santos and Álvaro Uribe, who immediately climbed into their fire engines to help extinguish the flames.

Colonel Aureliano's dreams faded as the storm broke and the tyrant, full of anger at the challenge, threw himself into the arena with such fury that rumour had it that no one knew where Colonel Aureliano was, and when he appeared he was on his knees with the tyrant's sword over his head.

The tyrant, surrounded by his army of courtiers, chanted that he had triumphed, and when he removed the sword from the head of Colonel Aureliano Buendía, Colonel Buendía's army of courtiers, who were stunned, came out to jump away from the White House, intoxicated with nationalism and patriotism that they had rescued the national dignity and that they were the great victors of the fight between the drunkard and the tyrant, but it can be seen that Colonel Aureliano was quite badly burned and bruised.

@j15mosquera

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